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April 30, 2014 (Click to listen live, or right-click and "save target as..." to download mp3) The true test of parenthood is when you fall down in the playground, twist your ankle around to the back of your head, hit the ground in the worst pain you've ever felt shooting up your leg....and you still don't let out a swear word in front of all the children. The good news is that instead of boiling eggs to color for Easter, you can just put your swollen foot full of special colors inside an Easter basket and call it good. |
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April 28, 2014 (Click to listen live, or right-click and "save target as..." to download mp3) Why waste weeks of your life starving in the jungle on Survivor? Now you can test your mettle by getting dropped off in a rental car in a new city without a working GPS. Or, maybe you get a GPS, but it either overheats, the charger tip breaks off, it shows a picture of you in the middle of the bay while it tells you over and over again to get back on the bridge, or maybe it just goes blank for no reason in the middle of nowhere. |
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April 14, 2014 (Click to listen live, or right-click and "save target as..." to download mp3) What do you get for two Gay Men that have everything and now have a brand new baby boy? You hop onto Ebay and you get screwed by a buyer advertising two baby boy style teethers, but only sends one...with polka dots. And, you get super screwed by a meth head selling a car seat tightener advertised as brand new, but looks like a child vomited food all over it and then shoved it up the dog's butt. Klassy. |
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April 9, 2014 (Click to listen live, or right-click and "save target as..." to download mp3) Next time you go for take-out, make sure you check the bag for a red star. The red star doesn't mean you're the most special customer of the day. It means that someone at the restaurant thinks you're a flaming bitch. The red star means that every employee in the restaurant should jizz in your bag, empty out used plates into your food and drop a pubic hair in the bag as they pass by. |
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April 6, 2014 (Click to listen live, or right-click and "save target as..." to download mp3) Two words sum up the difference between Lesbians and straight women - gift basket. The straight woman's gift basket consists of bath beads, kitchen implements and a sexy apron to wear with nothing else on when your husband gets home. The Lesbian's gift basket has a case of Beers From Around the World and a set of BBQ utensils. |
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