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| August 30, 2009
(Click to listen live, or right-click and "save target as..." to download mp3) If you don't kiss someone that is standing under mistletoe, it means you will have bad luck for the rest of your life. Whether you believe that superstition or not, it's probably worth taking a chance by walking away if an ugly Lesbian with halitosis is standing under that mistletoe. Having bad luck for the rest of your life just has to be a better outcome. |
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| August 26, 2009
(Click to listen live, or right-click and "save target as..." to download mp3) It's never easy to ask for help when you're not able to take care of yourself as well as you used to, but if that time ever comes, you may as well do it in the best possible style you can think of. Get the wheelchair with the spinning hubcaps and gold plated rims. Deck it out with Italian leather seats with temperature controlled seat warmers. And, make sure it has a cup holder on the side to hold your diamond encrusted Pimp Cup. |
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| August 23, 2009
(Click to listen live, or right-click and "save target as..." to download mp3) It's not hard to pick up Lesbians once you know the secret. All you need is a cute puppy or a minor sports injury. It doesn't even have to be a real injury. Simply go out with a small cast or a sprained limb wrapped in some gauze, add some crutches for effect, and you're guaranteed to meet the girl of your dreams. |
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| August 19, 2009
(Click to listen live, or right-click and "save target as..." to download mp3) Global warming is a serious issue that will have long-lasting effects on our planet and impact not only our lives, but the lives of our children and grandchildren as well. But, if reducing our carbon footprint means having to ride in crowded buses and trains with sweaty strangers that stink, then it's worth burning fossil fuels for hours a day jammed on the freeway heading back and forth to work alone in your car with the air conditioning cranked all the way up. |
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| August 16, 2009
(Click to listen live, or right-click and "save target as..." to download mp3) As you search for the perfect wife, make sure you keep in mind all the good qualities that make for a long, loving and happy relationship. Try to find someone who is trustworthy, loyal, considerate, generous and fun to be around. Most importantly, make sure she knows how to fix the computers and take care of all the other electronic gadgets in the house. |
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| August 12, 2009
(Click to listen live, or right-click and "save target as..." to download mp3) There's a reason why restaurants have signs in their restrooms that insist employees wash their hands before returning to work. It's so that they don't stick their nasty fingers up their asses and then stir your latte with that same finger. If it wasn't a problem....they wouldn't need the signs. |
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| August 8, 2009
(Click to listen live, or right-click and "save target as..." to download mp3) In an ongoing effort for companies to save money and cut back on expenses, live operators are being replaced by automated phone systems. As long as they're going down that path, it's comforting to know that they've put a lot of time and effort into making those automated systems as exasperating and annoying as talking to a real live customer service agent. |
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| August 5, 2009
(Click to listen live, or right-click and "save target as..." to download mp3) It's a lot of power to wield to be the proud owner of a Va Jay Jay. You have the power to make grown men stop in their tracks cold, to start blathering like idiots, to render them unable to think with anything except the smaller version of themselves between their legs, and to make them do things they might regret for the rest of their lives. What a bitch when they find out you're a big 'ol Homo. |
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| August 2, 2009
(Click to listen live, or right-click and "save target as..." to download mp3) Just because you're a Lesbian it doesn't necessarily mean that you don't like penises. Lots of Lesbians enjoy toys and strap-ons shaped like a phallus. It's just that most of them don't want to have one with a man attached to the other side touching them. |
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