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March 30, 2014 (Click to listen live, or right-click and "save target as..." to download mp3) If you're in law enforcement and you're trying to solve a major crime, here's a tip. If the killer uses duct tape, it either a straight woman or a man. Real Lesbians only uses zip ties. Don't feel bad...I didn't know that either. |
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March 24, 2014 (Click to listen live, or right-click and "save target as..." to download mp3) Out of ideas for a great new side dish for your next Super Bowl party? Here's a secret - follow around an 18 month old child, watch the foods they put together and write down all those special recipes. Who can resist blueberry yogurt and black olives. The best part is that there is absolutely no chance of anyone showing up at the same party with your super secret signature dish. Delish. |
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March 17, 2014 (Click to listen live, or right-click and "save target as..." to download mp3) It's hard to believe that calling someone a douche is a bad thing. If you're a douche you get handled gently by a nice woman, you get inserted snugly inside a warm vagina, and you become all slippery and wet. What's not to like? Oooh...forgot about the part that the reason you're being used is because that vagina smells like the tuna fish you left out for the stray cat last week. |
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March 13, 2014 (Click to listen live, or right-click and "save target as..." to download mp3) The Internet has afforded humanity so many wonderful conveniences. We can find a restaurant in cities we've never been to before, we can find a date (or an f-buddy) right around the corner or pay all our bills online automatically without ever buying a stamp. It's all good until nobody knows you've been dead for the last six years because all your bills are setup on auto-pay. |
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March 10, 2014 (Click to listen live, or right-click and "save target as..." to download mp3) When the DMV says online that the wait is only twenty minutes, what they mean is that it will take twenty minutes for you to reach the front door so that you can take a number and wait in a line that will take another three hours. Good thing they don't charge for parking. |
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March 2, 2014 (Click to listen live, or right-click and "save target as..." to download mp3) Now that Gay marriage is legal in more than half the states in the U.S. we no longer have to worry about young Lesbians bringing the U-Haul to the second date. Now we have to worry about the long waiting list at the Little White Chapel in Las Vegas and the scarcity of wedding cakes all over the country. At least the wedding flowers can be recycled, since the divorces will be happening before the flowers lose their scent. |
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