138 Pet Peeves

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As the year 2007 winds down, everyone will have a list of the best movies, the best books, the best music, the best things they ate...and hundreds of other things they liked and disliked about this year. We'll take you through a much more practical list instead. It's our list of the biggest pet peeves of all time.

137 Lesbian Breakup Etiquette

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It may be hard to believe that Lesbian couples would break up at all, especially since you knew you would marry her and be together forever after the second date...or maybe the third date for the commitment phobic. Stranger things have certainly happened, so it's best to be prepared in advance...just in case. You want to be ready if you decide to break into her house to get back all the gifts you ever gave her, or if you just simply want to drain the joint bank account ahead of time.

136 Another Shot at Tila

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Straight Men: 1, Lesbians: 0. We just can't help ourselves in doing one more show about Tila Tequila and "Shot at Love" after the season finale. If there's one thing we learned after wasting that much of our lives in front of the TV, it's....ladies, please, no white shoes after Labor Day. No good can come of it.

135 Employee of the Year

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This year when the boss asks you to complete a self-evaluation for your annual performance review so that they can figure out what you've been doing all year, make sure you let them know that you've been the Employee of the Year. Be sure to rate yourself "excellent" in every category. Who cares if you've been late to work almost every day, you leave early, you don't get anything done on time and you're generally a pain in the ass to everyone in the office. Make sure that that the hour you spend completing your review is worth the hour of your life you'll never get back by wasting your time on this crap.

134 Knife Snob

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Back when we were young kids, mom would always warn us not to touch sharp or dangerous objects. Of course, we would ignore her, get hurt and then cry until she gave us a lollipop to make it all feel better. Now that we're adults, it's clear that we haven't learned anything at all. We still ignore mother's stern warnings and can't stop ourselves from playing with sharp, shiny objects in the kitchen. It's a good thing there's a hospital not too far away.

133 They Breathe Among Us

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Everyone has bad breath once in a while. We've all had woken up in the morning and had our breath smell like ass...maybe you had too much garlic at lunch...or maybe you just smoke cigarettes. But when you have to drive down the freeway in the middle of winter with the car window wide open and your head hanging out like a dog because the person next to you has insane halitosis...that's just ridiculous.

132 Fake Holidays

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Leave it to Hallmark to make sure that you always have a reason to buy cards and gifts in any month of the year, for almost anyone you know, for almost any reason at all. When "Bosses Day" comes around, make sure you run out and get a gift for someone who makes eight times as much money as you do...and who you probably don't like anyway.

131 God Loves Lesbians

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God loves Lesbians, but he doesn't like rock music. In fact, simply listening to rock music has been proven to make people display homosexual tendencies. Not to worry... we'll take you through the official list of bands whose music you should immediately go out and buy so that you can stop other people from listening to them and having them become homosexuals, too.

130 The Crying Game Redux

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It's time for another relaxing evening in front of the TV. Well...that is until "Something About Miriam" comes on. It's kind of like "The Bachelorette"....except for the special surprise that Miriam has in store for the unknowing bachelors. As usual, Roxanne has an opinion.