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January 31, 2013 (Click to listen live, or right-click and "save target as..." to download mp3) If you walked up to a straight woman with a baby before you had a baby of your own, you would just be seen as a creepy Dyke trying to hit on a straight woman. Once you have a baby of your own, however, all the tables turn. Now you're a thoughtful mother who is interested in swapping baby secrets with someone else from the in-crowd...even if you spend the entire time staring at her cleavage. |
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January 27, 2013 (Click to listen live, or right-click and "save target as..." to download mp3) These days it's just too dangerous to play the lottery and win. Friends and family drain your bank account, a new girlfriend moves in and suddenly you end up missing, or they find your dead body in a lake a few days after you collect your big check. It's much easier to get ripped off and lose all your money the old fashioned way. Let the tweaker move in, let her slowly drain all your bank accounts and max out your credit cards until you don't have anything left. Once she's done she simply moves on to the whore she's been already been sleeping on the side. At least she's not slipping cyanide in your drink. |
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January 23, 2013 (Click to listen live, or right-click and "save target as..." to download mp3) The best way to further the acceptance of Gay people in society is simply to be yourself and show people that you're a regular human being just like they are. The more people that know Gay people, the more people will realize being Gay is perfectly normal. Or, you can use the Roxanne method - next time you're in a group of straight people, make sure you put up your guard, decide that they are nasty, uptight human beings before you know anything about them, and then imitate their voice and make fun of their children that you don't even know. That's sure to further the cause of Gay people all over the world. |
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January 20, 2013 (Click to listen live, or right-click and "save target as..." to download mp3) Any good parent wants to make sure that their kid has a positive childhood filled with lots of interesting experiences that they'll remember for the rest of their life. You want to enrich them with educational outings and fun-filled family trips. As you're thinking about where you might go and what you might do with your child, for most parents that might not include a visit to a Hookah bar or teaching them how to light things on fire so that you have a 20-foot bonfire. |
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January 16, 2013 (Click to listen live, or right-click and "save target as..." to download mp3) Straight people have ruined Sesame Street for everyone. Our son's best friend used to be Elmo, but now we have to find him another favorite toy because Elmo turned out to be a pedophile. Cookie Monster promotes childhood obesity, so that's out. Oscar the Grouch is rude and promotes bad manners. Big Bird may actually be the saving grace of Sesame Street, however. If Mit Romney hates Big Bird, then BB is my friend! |
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