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December 28, 2011 (Click to listen live, or right-click and "save target as..." to download mp3) Some people eat mushrooms, some people study mushrooms, some people grow mushrooms, and others simply manage by the mushroom principle -- keep 'em in the dark and feed 'em crap. |
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December 21, 2011 (Click to listen live, or right-click and "save target as..." to download mp3) Families that shoplift together stay together, even if it's only staying in jail together. So, next time you're out shoplifting, grab the baby, pick up grandma from the home and get all your cousins to join you. Make sure you start in the meat aisle, grab the most expensive cuts of meat you can find, and stick it all in the baby's diapers. Don't forget to pick up a bottle of Cristal on your way out the door. Happy Holidays. |
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December 18, 2011 (Click to listen live, or right-click and "save target as..." to download mp3) The average woman has a period 520 times in her lifetime. That assumes 13 cycles per year at 28 days per cycle, and bleeding from ages 12 to 52. If the average woman uses 25 tampons per cycle, that works out to about $8 per cycle, for a total cost of $4,200. Add in the cost of panties that had to be tossed out because of an accident or two for another $1,000. Plus, another $1,200 for Midol. Now we have something practical to rally around in the upcoming election season - a tax break for having to menstruate. |
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December 14, 2011 (Click to listen live, or right-click and "save target as..." to download mp3) Being a responsible dog owner is a big commitment. You have to make sure you feed your pets every day, give them fresh water to drink and a nice cozy place to sleep. You have to keep up on shots and regular vet visits, and give your pet plenty of exercise for a nice, fulfilling life. Most importantly, if someone else's dog takes a crap on your front lawn, you have to pick it up and fling it into their yard to help teach them how to become a responsible pet owner, too. |
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December 11, 2011 (Click to listen live, or right-click and "save target as..." to download mp3) Moving beyond hot dogs and french fries can be a scary thing. It takes a big person to get out of their food comfort zone and to try new things. Once you do, however, you realize that the world has a lot of interesting and new foods to offer. You'll also come to realize that there really is a reason people call Lesbian sex, "bumping clams".The first time you open up a steamed clam...you finally understand that it does look kind of like a vagina. |
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December 5, 2011 (Click to listen live, or right-click and "save target as..." to download mp3) There are few things more disturbing than thinking about sweaty balls...except perhaps thinking about having sweaty lips. Now that the holidays are upon us, do a friend a solid and find some Clean Balls or Lip Clean. Wrap it up into a sexy little package and make it your special secret gift between you and the one you love this holiday season. The world will be a better place. |
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