071 Two Homos Hit the Road

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Today's the day. We're off to San Francisco to start our jouney on ALC 6. The 2 Homos will be gone for the week, but we'll be back with more shows and a whole lot more stories after that. If you've missed some of our earlier shows, now is a good time to dip into the archives and get caught up. See ya in about a week!

070 The P-Mate's Have Arrived!

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It never occurred to me that  I would live in a house where I'd have to worry about the toilet seat being up when I go to the bathroom. Now that the P-Mate's have arrived...the toilet seat being up is a hazard I may just have to live with. Roxanne has discovered that it's not only convenient to pee standing up, but it's a lot of fun, too.

069 Lesbian Vocabulary Lessons

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It's time to go back to school to earn your honorary Lesbian degree. Before you get ready to take that test, however, let us walk you through some important vocabulary lessons with words and expressions you'll need to know. Thanks to Kathy Belge for her list at Lesbian Life to help make us the smartest Lesbians on the planet.

068 Day at the Vet's

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Poultry flavored toothbrush, $29.50...canine catheterization, $25.77...big steel clanging neuticles to make your toy poodle look as tough as a pit bull as he walks down the street...priceless.

067 Fashion Week at the Swap Meet

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It happens only once a year. Paris meets California at the Orange County Swap Meet for Fashion Week. Roxanne is there with all the color commentary and sightings of this year's most stylish couture.

066 Costco Doesn't Sponsor Us

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Costco doesn't sponsor us...but maybe they should. They can always count on us for helping to drive the stock price higher with our toilet paper purchases and our constant need to purchase more dog beds. If we ever move out of the area, Costco will almost certainly need to close down the Burbank location due to an unforeseen drop in sales volume.

065 Vagitarians

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It's not easy to face your fears. It takes courage, determination and a willingness to let go of the old habits that hold you back. Roxanne takes a bold step forward to overcome her fear of vegetables this weekend as she musters up all her strength to attend the Strawberry Festival...even if strawberries are not a vegetable.

064 Customer Service Sucks

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Bad customer service has become a way of life in America. In fact, we've become so good at it that we've decided that the global economy is a good way for us to teach other countries how to give shitty customer service, too. After all, why should we be selfish and keep it all to ourselves?

063 The Burning Bush

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Fires raced across two areas of Los Angeles last week. Roxanne thinks it's the work of twisted pyromaniacs, but Virginia is convinced that the Griffith Park fire was started by a meth-head cruising for a blow job in the park. As for the Catalina fire, we're both convinced that the fire is a sure sign for the woman about to get married in Catalina that she really shouldn't get married at all. It's a sign that she should come out as a Lesbian instead.

062 One Gay Son and a Pair of Dykes

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The fascists of political correctness set their sites on a stereotypical, older, white male and prepare to fire. As champions of the cause, they come out with both guns blaring and project all their baggage about how he doesn't respect or acknowledge gay relationships. What they didn't know...is that this particular older white man is Roxanne's Dad.

061 Secrets to a Happy Relationship

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Good relationships take balance, cooperation and joint responsibility for household chores. Everyone has their job to do, whether it means obsessively vacuuming up dog hair, taking out trash barrels filled with dog shit, or simply emptying out trash cans on the neighbor's lawn.

060 Let's Go Shopping

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When it comes to your very best friends, you want to make sure you pick out a special gift that they will remember forever. Ideally, it will be something they can reminisce about and talk about for years to come. So, the next time a special occasion rolls around and you need to pick out a gift for someone special, we're here for you.

059 MILF's

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You Googled MILF because your membership in the Moro Islamic Liberation Front (MILF) expired and you wanted to find their web site. What came up instead was the Wikipedia entry for MILF: 1. (slang) Mother I'd like to fuck. A mother found sexually attractive.