February 24, 2008

156 Lesbopolitan

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The Cosmo magazine that hasn't left the house yet become an endless source of fascination and irritation for Roxanne as she takes a look at some of the other articles. For Virginia it sparks the idea for a new money-making adventure - publishing the new Lesbian magazine...Lesbopolitan.


February 24, 2008

155 Lesbians Know Va-Jay-Jays

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Fact: Most straight women have never seen a Va-Jay-Jay ever...including their own. That's why they need Cosmopolitan magazine to tell them all about it. Of course, they can just save the $4.95 and talk to a Lesbian instead.


February 21, 2008

154 Sweet Melissa

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As Lesbians, we feel that it's our birthright to demand...and get...good, hard-rocking Melissa Etheridge songs. We'll do whatever it takes to get Melissa into that angry, depressed place that all those good songs come from. We'll even take the time to slip some lacy g-string underwear, laced with perfume, into Tammy's car if that's what's required.


February 18, 2008

153 Valentine to Remember

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A special hand-picked card from the grocery store, $2.95. Gas to drive home early from work, $4.00. A romantic dinner at the pizza place down the street, $16. The sincere look of love and appreciation in my soul-mate's eyes when she unwraps a video game for Valentine's day...priceless. Ad on Craig's List to get a new girlfriend, free.


February 15, 2008

152 Get Out & Vote

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It's election time in the States. This year, get out and make your vote count (unlike Roxanne's). It gives you the right to go out and bitch about everything you don't like.


February 12, 2008

151 Instant Femme

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The days of using Chapstick as lipstick and hanging around the Rite-Aid counter waiting for someone to help you learn how to apply makeup are over. Roxanne tells all as she explains how she learned to put on makeup and primp like a girl. So, tuck in that t-shirt, put on a belt and find out how to become an instant femme.


February 7, 2008

150 Skid Marks

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When you go out on a little shopping excursion, the last thing you expect to see is a minefield of dog crap throughout the store. It's the quickest way to turn a delightful afternoon into a skid mark hazard with the potential for a deadly slip and fall.


February 4, 2008

149 Super Bug

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People are dirty, filthy pigs. They go to the bathroom to take a crap, they don't wash their hands, they bake cakes and make food for potlucks, and then they bring it in to work to share with their co-workers. All the while they're busy spreading around infectious diseases and handing out viruses like it's candy.


February 1, 2008

148 High Energy Taste Test

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We take a departure from our normal routine to save the world from from tripping out at work and growing ox balls because you bought the wrong energy drink. We've done all the hard work for you and wound up staying up all night as a result, so that you don't have to waste your hard-earned two dollars and fifty cents on something that looks, tastes and smells like piss.


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