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October 31, 2010 (Click to listen live, or right-click and "save target as..." to download mp3) If you're going to run for public office in America, you would think that a basic pre-requisite would be to have read the Constitution of the United States of America at least once. It's only a fundamental document that describes the role of government in the 50 states. If they did, they would know about a basic human right that all citizens are born with under the Constitution...the inalienable right to masturbate. |
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October 27, 2010 (Click to listen live, or right-click and "save target as..." to download mp3) Eight seconds is all it takes to win a bull riding contest. Eight seconds is also how long it takes for you to notice the Tecate Girls at Fanzone, for you to pull out your camera to get ready to take the picture of your life, and then for your wife to walk in front of you so that you miss the shot entirely. |
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October 24, 2010 (Click to listen live, or right-click and "save target as..." to download mp3) Some people might say it takes balls to just waltz right in and crash a party that you haven't been invited to. If it's a party you haven't been invited to and the party is at the White House and it's an inaugural dinner for the new president of the United States it takes a hell of a lot more than balls. For that it takes an Adam's apple. |
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October 20, 2010 (Click to listen live, or right-click and "save target as..." to download mp3) Everyday life can be very stressful all by itself. Just getting through a day can wear you down and make you crazy. Load on top of that a visit from your crazy Dad that you're trying to avoid and you've got a full on nervous breakdown waiting to happen. At that point there's only one thing that's going to work...sex and a valium. |
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October 17, 2010 (Click to listen live, or right-click and "save target as..." to download mp3) Just because you're watching a long movie and you've had a large soda at the beginning of the show, does not mean the answer is to wear adult diapers to the theater so that you don't have to get up to pee in the middle. The answer is also not to run into the bathroom, hover over the toilet like a UFO and then run out as fast as you can leaving sprinkles all over the seat. Piss in a bottle like everyone else and just leave it in the movie theater for someone else to clean up. |
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October 10, 2010 (Click to listen live, or right-click and "save target as..." to download mp3) Just because you're a Lesbian does not mean you a license to use tools. You may be a pro with the "tools" you use in the bedroom, but when you start to think that you can wield real tools outside of the house...that's when someone is going to get hurt. Don't even think about using power tools. That kind of work should be left to a licensed Lesbian professional. |
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October 6, 2010 (Click to listen live, or right-click and "save target as..." to download mp3) Nothing sucks worse than being a young Lesbian without your own set of wheels. You have to rely on your mom to drop you off at your girlfriend's house, only to have her pick you up a few hours later smelling like sex. All you can do is long for the days when you can take your girl out for a date in your own vehicle to a drive-in movie and a pizza in the back of your pick-up truck under the covers. How do you spell "Klassy?" |
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October 3, 2010 (Click to listen live, or right-click and "save target as..." to download mp3) Now that Fall is here it's time to start thinking about staying in tune with all the new fashions of the season. It's not only important to look good, but you you want to be stylish at the same time. No more of those dated looks from the eighties for you, and that includes your bush. Styling your bush should be just as important as styling your hair. Although not everyone is going to see it, you still want it to look good when they do. |
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