July 31, 2011 (Click to listen live, or right-click and "save target as..." to download mp3) Just because more states are starting to allow Gay marriage, it doesn't mean you should just rush right into things. There are more things to consider than just whether or not your new spouse will love you 'til death do us part. Now instead of just tossing your crap out on the front lawn, you have to worry about your new spouse getting mad and chopping off your jewels. Better start sleeping with a steel chastity belt...and make sure it's locked tight. |
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July 27, 2011 (Click to listen live, or right-click and "save target as..." to download mp3) It used to be that a slutty young gold digger could just give an old man a good roll in the hay, he would have a heart attack and die immediately after signing away his will to the new 20 year old he just stared banging. Now with Viagra, those old bastards can hang on forever. Now you really have to think about whether or not it's worth it to marry Hugh Hefner just to be come the heir to the Playboy fortune. |
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July 24, 2011 (Click to listen live, or right-click and "save target as..." to download mp3) What's not to like? You get three square (but very salty) meals a day, an enema every other day and someone to sponge bathe your genitals every couple of days. So what if people keep you up with their howling and screaming all night long, the lady next door comes in to your room to tell your visitors that you've been dead for two years or that the cleaning lady withholds toilet paper when you have to take a crap? You're living it up at the lovely Country Villa Convalescent Hospital. |
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July 20, 2011 (Click to listen live, or right-click and "save target as..." to download mp3) Apparently there is a market for previously worn underwear that gets sold out of vending machines. Some people find it erotic and sexy. Some people also find Lesbians to be be hot and sexy. Therefore, previously worn Lesbian underwear must be sexy. Now you have a way to get rid of your old granny underpants with period stains and other discolorations while making some extra cash at the same time. It also saves you a trip to the Goodwill. |
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July 17, 2011 (Click to listen live, or right-click and "save target as..." to download mp3) As Lesbians, we don't always have time to look up all our Lesbian culture questions on the Internet. We need those answers now. For example, if you're a vegan and you meet the woman of your dreams at a bar late one night, how will you know whether or not it's ok for you to go down on her? After all, humans are meat, right? We're going to need someone to create an app for this. |
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July 10, 2011 (Click to listen live, or right-click and "save target as..." to download mp3) There's a reason why people in LA always travel by car everywhere they go and won't even walk to the convenience store on the corner. The car forms a protective barrier to keep you safe from the homeless people and other nuts walking around in Ugg boots in the middle of summer. It's not that being homeless is a problem, it's just that someone must be absolutely out of their mind if they're still wearing Ugg boots years after Paris Hilton gave them up. |
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July 6, 2011 (Click to listen live, or right-click and "save target as..." to download mp3) Lesbians get a bad rap. Everyone thinks it's always the Lesbians that are out recruiting unknowing straight girls to join the ranks of Sisterhood. Finally, the truth can be told. After years of trepidation and doubt, it's finally come out that in reality it's the drunk straight girls that are out recruiting new Lesbians. At least that explains where all the toasters went. |
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July 4, 2011 (Click to listen live, or right-click and "save target as..." to download mp3) Congratulations to NY for legalizing Gay marriage! As a public service to help Lesbians across the Empire State, U-Hauls across New York will be shutting down for the next three months. They like to call it a "cooling down" period, but we like to call it insurance for making sure the vagina you touched for the first time last night doesn't become your new wife by next week. |
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