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June 28, 2012 (Click to listen live, or right-click and "save target as..." to download mp3) The Glendale police department are out wasting their time giving tickets to cyclists who are just out enjoying a peaceful bike ride while blowing through stop signs. What they should really be doing is something that will keep the streets safe for everyone. How about giving out moving violations to cyclists that really shouldn't be wearing spandex at all. $350 for the spandex muffin top. $500 for wearing the white spandex shorts. |
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June 25, 2012 (Click to listen live, or right-click and "save target as..." to download mp3) Some friends are just your party friends, others are your movie and dinner girlfriends, and still others are just your regular hanging out type of friends. Then there are those friends that you can really count on. Not just the ones that will be there if you need a shoulder to cry on, but instead the type of friends that will not only wipe your vagina, but those that will change a tampon for you. Not just any tampon...but an honest to goodness O.B. without the applicator. |
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June 14, 2012 (Click to listen live, or right-click and "save target as..." to download mp3) Just because the neighbor pretends to be a straight lady living quietly with her husband next door, doesn't mean she doesn't secretly fantasize about going down on your wife. Maybe she lays in bed at night creating elaborate fantasies about how she passive aggressively allows her dog to crap on your lawn so that you'll come out of the house all hot and bothered to yell at her. She'll try to make it up to you by inviting you over to her house for a massage and some girl talk...all before she pulls a John Travolta on you. |
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June 10, 2012 (Click to listen live, or right-click and "save target as..." to download mp3) It's great to be a guy. Whenever you need a little pleasure you can just go to the local public restroom, find a glory hole and stick it right in. Never mind that you don't know who is on the other end, if they have tongue herpes, no teeth, a sharp object or other incurable diseases. You always run the risk of leaving without a body part, but at the end of the day...it's all worth it. |
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June 6, 2012 (Click to listen live, or right-click and "save target as..." to download mp3) These days there are so many ways to pick up women. You can browse the personal ads, go on match.com or even do it the old fashioned way by picking up some drunk chick at a bar. Why would you even think about tossing some chicken bones down on the ground in front of some lady walking her dog just so you can save her dog and be her hero by giving her dog mouth to snout resuscitation? It just seems like so much more work than is really necessary. |
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June 3, 2012 (Click to listen live, or right-click and "save target as..." to download mp3) Welcome to America, where fat is now the new thin. We'll take our burgers with a triple stack of meat, ten slices of cheese and fourteen pieces of bacon. If it doesn't have saturated fat pouring out of every crevice, why would we eat it? We don't care if every meal we go out to eat has enough calories to live off for the next two weeks...as long as a hot girl comes out in really tiny shorts and big boobs to serve it to us. |
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