November 28, 2015

632 Fire in the Hole

(Click to listen live, or right-click and "save target as..." to download mp3)

It's perfectly normal to cook while naked. There are just two rules you have to remember. Never reach down to scratch your butt, and always wear an apron. You really don't want that bush to catch fire and burn down the house. That will be a lot of explaining to do.

November 22, 2015

631 Snack Attack

(Click to listen live, or right-click and "save target as..." to download mp3)

The good people of Yelp are delighted to let you know that your local dog park is a feces encrusted mudhole with rancid people that will unceremoniously allow their dogs to mount your pure and innocent little princess. Sounds like a perfect place to take your dog for a fun afternoon of running around and meeting other dogs.

November 18, 2015

630 Love You More

(Click to listen live, or right-click and "save target as..." to download mp3)

It's the law of the land now -- Gay people can get married anywhere in the United States, and we have all the rights that go along with it. Just don't take your honeymoon in Hawaii or you might spend the rest of your vacation in jail just for kissing your wife in public.

November 15, 2015

629 What's For Dinner

(Click to listen live, or right-click and "save target as..." to download mp3)

It used to be that a dick pic was something you'd see on the wall of a public restroom. Someone would artfully depict a cartoon of a penis using a black magic marker. We would either be horrified or chuckle to ourselves discreetly and then share the story about it with our friends afterwards. Now we have smartphones with digital cameras so that we can simply take a picture of our genitals and send to everyone we know. Life sure has gotten easier.

November 11, 2015

628 Choose More Carefully

(Click to listen live, or right-click and "save target as..." to download mp3)

Rescue centers that adopt pets usually go through a lot of effort to ensure that the pets they adopt out are a good match for the new owners. They check the pet's temperament against the new home, they check to see if the pet is high or low energy, if they're good with kids and if they get along with other animals. One aspect they tend to miss, however, is to check a dog's IQ. Nobody expects their next pet to be an Einstein, but it would be nice to adopt a pet that can at least remember where the food bowl gets put down every day.

November 8, 2015

627 A Haunting

(Click to listen live, or right-click and "save target as..." to download mp3)

We spend a lot of time inspecting a new house before buying it. People come in to look at the foundation, the plumbing, the electrical, and everything else that might go wrong. What we don't usually check is to see if some supernatural presence has already decided this is their home. Then, one day you're convinced the house is possessed when you detect an otherworldly smell so rancid that it can't possibly be human. That's when you realize the 3-year old just took an enormous, fetid crap in his pants.

November 4, 2015

626 Vagical Mystery Tour

(Click to listen live, or right-click and "save target as..." to download mp3)

The "sex" talk used to be easy when it was just the birds and the bees. Now you have to cover not only the birds and the bees, but the birds and the birds, the bees and the bees, the birds that like both birds and bees (and vice versa), the birds that were born bees, the bees that were born birds, the birds and the bees that don't like labels and the birds and the bees that are still questioning. It's going to take more than a day to cover all that.

November 1, 2015

625 Ignorance Can Be Cured

(Click to listen live, or right-click and "save target as..." to download mp3)

It doesn't take much to set some people off. One Facebook message is all it can take to get someone going on a rant. Listen to Roxanne deconstruct the passage of Gay Marriage back in June.

E-mail us to ask for advice, to tell us how much you love the show, or just because you're bored: